...that it is KILLING me that i don't know, for sure, where i will be teaching next year. i'm so upset with all the budget cuts and downsizing! not only because it is affecting our kids and their education, but because it's affecting so many people i know...myself included. i know, i know....i should totally be thankful for the fact that, no matter what, i KNOW i will have a JOB next year. but to think that i may have to change grade levels (i love first grade) or worse, change school sites (i love my co-workers) leaves me feeling VERY uneasy. like queasy-uneasy. :( my hubband says i stress too much...and i know i do. no matter what happens, i'll be ok...unless they give me a 5th or 6th grade class. but i have a job! it's just sad that i LOVE where i teach now...even if it's not in the best area of town or the easiest kids on earth. i love that i know i'm making a difference. i know i'm providing these kids with some stability and love that they may not get at home. i know that i am NEEDED. and i love that i become so close with them through the year, that even with their tough lives and their barriers, i can make them smile and giggle. so do i really want to leave? no...i still have too much passion left in me to leave a place like this. it's hard, i will admit that. it's hard to teach the kids who come in with so much baggage....but in the end, it's just that more rewarding.
...but if i have to leave, then i have to leave. i just hope and pray that i get to stay at my school site in my current position. damn the economy, damn the budget cuts....damn all the people who continue to think it's ok to take so much money from education. i may be complaining about something as petty as my own job...but seriously....think of the kids. they NEED to come first.
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